breathe

just had a very scary thought!

you know how parents have an obsession with stalking you
and tracking absolutely everything you do?

even now that I', nineteen,  and have been living out of home for quite a few months now,
i know my mum still tries very hard.

and i just realised that I have a link to this blogg on my facebook, that anyone can see.

ergo ; Mum, if you are reading this,
IT IS ALL A LIE.

please stop reading now mum.
okay, thanks mum, bye, love you =)




it's just....parents are so hypocritical. mine especially.
they treat you like a ten year old, and if you don't act like an adult they punish you like a ten year old, and speak to you like a ten year old constantly anyway.

and they wonder why we get angry at them>

i never actually went through the 'rebellion"

stage. i have never shouted at my mum ( well, since i was like thirteen )
although if we ever didn't agree on something, i would try and actually have a discussion about it,
( as i have always done debates and philosophy studies )

and she would just yell and scream
"don't argue with me! " how dare you! I'm your mother!'
show some respect!" don't you dare yell at me! '

i never did any of that. she expected me to act like an adult, and i was trying as hard as i could to actually act and converse like one.

and I got screamed at like I was eight.


that is why I don't like my mum so much.

I know that she only ever wants the best for me,
but I just wish parent would stop being so controlling!
i mean still? really? ye gods! 

she was the one that was so forceful to get me to move out of home,
that was wanting me to pay rent in my own home if i was to stay now that i was eighteen,
and we actually had to go through counselling to negotiate what i was to go this year
( i.e gap year v.s year thirteen vs University )

well look how well that worked out -.-

i think i just need to work out how to stand up for myself.
normally i am okay with this,
but to our parents? is something i think we all struggle with.

i think sometimes we have to show and tell them that we want, and are ready, to take control and need to live our own lives, not the ones they dream or idolise for us to live.

miss you <3

Listening to ; La Roux - Bulletproof