hey little world

wows it has been a while,
I've missed this!

I really don't know how to begin explaining.
I don't feel myself of late, I'm sorry for that.

the last few days or really this last fortnight,
it's kind of been that I find myself thinking about who I am a lot.

sometimes when you realise you are so much you said you never wanted to be, and you do things you said you never would,
are friends with people you disliked for so long, as you knew they were wrong for you.

and now, lately I am back with my true friends,
my old friends,
and..

I feel so much more...me.

I cannot explain it.
I feel reinvigorated. new again.
a re-found purpose and innitiative.

so no more letting those around me get to me.
so. I have a lot to do.
a lot to change. and I'm still not even sure what.
but at least I know where I'm starting now.
it's like finding something.

I know now. I guess I've always known -
you never find what you're looking for.
you only get it when you stop looking,
when you forget or are looking for something else.
isn't that always the way?
I have a few things I really can't stuff up.
As I know that yes I have the make the effort to go through everything, and to never give up -
because what you are looking for it out there, and seeking you as much as you search for it =)



missing you all,
ayrton.