hey little world

wows it has been a while,
I've missed this!

I really don't know how to begin explaining.
I don't feel myself of late, I'm sorry for that.

the last few days or really this last fortnight,
it's kind of been that I find myself thinking about who I am a lot.

sometimes when you realise you are so much you said you never wanted to be, and you do things you said you never would,
are friends with people you disliked for so long, as you knew they were wrong for you.

and now, lately I am back with my true friends,
my old friends,
and..

I feel so much more...me.

I cannot explain it.
I feel reinvigorated. new again.
a re-found purpose and innitiative.

so no more letting those around me get to me.
so. I have a lot to do.
a lot to change. and I'm still not even sure what.
but at least I know where I'm starting now.
it's like finding something.

I know now. I guess I've always known -
you never find what you're looking for.
you only get it when you stop looking,
when you forget or are looking for something else.
isn't that always the way?
I have a few things I really can't stuff up.
As I know that yes I have the make the effort to go through everything, and to never give up -
because what you are looking for it out there, and seeking you as much as you search for it =)



missing you all,
ayrton.

i just ate a kilo of passion fruit yoghurt....oh dear....

Oh what a day!
my goodness,
how eventful.
well, I think I am at least officially dating this
( very cute, humerous, fun loving , and even crazier than I am! =D
and...i don;t know. he's just fun to be around! he is a fun person and personality =D
and zomg actually only a tiny but taller than me XD )

and..I don't know. I know I have to be careful,
and I know that no relationship is going to be a fairytale.

I know all that jazz, been through a relationship before peoples =P

I just hope this one works.
hell, I like him a lot more than I should ,
considering how long we've been seeing each other XD

ahh well.

anyway, there was a point to that!
i swear!
so, dancing together out on town last night,
( he seems to know everyone I swear! )
and when i first walked in and met him, in the middle of the dancefloor,
we kissed, and I remember to my amusement hearing behind me from several blondes;
"oh my god! is that two guys?""I think it is" Oh my god! **hysterical laughter**"

I found it rather amusing XD
and then later, when half surrounded my a few of his friends, a few ( to my knowledge )
random chicks who I think had been watching us, walk up and say
"hey, are you guys gay?'
in a very suss voice,

and my this cute boy   (who shall remain unnamed =P )
decided to become a rather playful  they were whilst watching, exchanging playful slaps and pokes,
until finally leaning over and kissing me!
in the middle of the outside-dance-area-thing
which resulted in a massive cheer from all assembled friends and random girls watching XD

This made my night XD
( well, apart from this very cute and amazing guy, of course =P )

So, after most of the morning ( okay, fine , and lucnhtime as well =P )
was spent sleeping in with said brilliant boy,

comes homes,
and decides to sit outside in the wonderful sunshine and work for a few hours.

I don't understand why people don't do it more often.
instead, people seem to sit in side and complain about not being out in the sun, stuck inside studying.

i worked this one out years ago!
honestly.
just take a matt or rug or something lay it down on the grass, grab your iPod or speakers, take your work out with you,
lie down ,do your work and enjoy the sun!

it just makes sense. otherwise, you waste so much time inside wishing you were outside you get next to nothing done! so just go outside and do it there! it is so much more efficient! =D


love for you =) xx


Listening to ; Kelly Clarkson - My Life Would Suck With Out You

Sick!

I am sick!
argh!

This is not good. feeling snuffly and tired.

So, I decided it was a perfect excise for me to have lots of fruit salads for food!
so I went to the greengrocer down the street,
and bought every type of fruit I could find!

I must say,
best tasting thing I have had to eat for being sick!

I started working on a new collage today.
couldn't really do much, so have been drawing / cutting ,  sticking all day!

if I remember, I was scan it in tomorrow and show you all!

A little bit of happiness and inspiration for you on the morrow, when you wake up, think of this ;

 I have this in one of my collages.
good bit of inspiration to wake up to! =)

hug for you!

Listening to ; Harel Skaat - Milim