hey little world

wows it has been a while,
I've missed this!

I really don't know how to begin explaining.
I don't feel myself of late, I'm sorry for that.

the last few days or really this last fortnight,
it's kind of been that I find myself thinking about who I am a lot.

sometimes when you realise you are so much you said you never wanted to be, and you do things you said you never would,
are friends with people you disliked for so long, as you knew they were wrong for you.

and now, lately I am back with my true friends,
my old friends,
and..

I feel so much more...me.

I cannot explain it.
I feel reinvigorated. new again.
a re-found purpose and innitiative.

so no more letting those around me get to me.
so. I have a lot to do.
a lot to change. and I'm still not even sure what.
but at least I know where I'm starting now.
it's like finding something.

I know now. I guess I've always known -
you never find what you're looking for.
you only get it when you stop looking,
when you forget or are looking for something else.
isn't that always the way?
I have a few things I really can't stuff up.
As I know that yes I have the make the effort to go through everything, and to never give up -
because what you are looking for it out there, and seeking you as much as you search for it =)



missing you all,
ayrton.

little world

Hi guys.
really don't know what to say.
feeling not so super lately.
today was kinda  a day where
you just want to cuddle up in bed next to someone all day.
meh.
I never understood it or had this want until today.
I think I'm just getting old

but that's okay.
today was nice, went for a nice swim with my old housemate lizzie,
she's very cool, then went into town and had chat with her
over coffee and lunch.
just talking about everything,
from boyfriends, to uni,
to family, to missing our friends,
to food and hobbies,
to growing up, to places we've been
( she has for more in this department to talk about though.. )
and I think ...
that although ,
she is only a year or two my senior.
I think I have a lot to look forward to
as we all do.


missing you all and hope you are well,
ayrton <3

Listening to ; The Fear - Lily Allen